7 Tips to Fill Your Cup When You’re Running on Empty

The saying is true—you can’t pour from an empty cup. But when you’re busy raising children and can’t even remember the last time you slept through the night, how are you supposed to fill your cup in the first place?

Believe it or not, it all begins in your mind. Your mindset is the most important thing to consider when things aren’t going well. While you can’t always control what’s happening around you (let’s be real, you can’t exactly control the behaviour of your baby or toddler), you can control your own thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

So, if you’re ready to feel more capable—mentally and emotionally—of handling whatever parenting throws your way, here are seven tips to get you started.

Tip #1: Focus on Appreciation

Find things in your life that you can appreciate—no matter how small they might seem. It could be as simple as appreciating your eyes for what they can see right now or your ears for what they can hear. Or even just appreciating the fact that there’s always enough air to breathe!

Remember, what you focus on grows. So you might as well focus on what you love and want more of in your life. This won’t happen overnight—it takes practice and a bit of support. But every moment you spend appreciating the good is a moment spent attracting even more of what you want.

Tip #2: Be Realistic

Being a parent is hard, full stop. A lot of the stress we feel comes from having unrealistic expectations—both for ourselves and for our children.

For example, it’s completely normal for children under the age of three (and sometimes much older!) to still wake during the night. Being realistic about what’s developmentally appropriate for your child can take a lot of pressure off.

The same goes for your own to-do list. Some days, it’s a win if everyone gets fed and nobody’s wearing yesterday’s socks. And that’s okay.

Tip #3: Live in the Moment

All that exists is this moment—right here, right now. The past is over, and the future is only imagined.

But when you’re in the thick of parenting, it’s easy to get stuck ruminating about what you should have done differently or worrying about what’s coming next. When that happens, try stopping for a moment, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What can I do right now?” or “What do I need right now?”

This simple exercise can help pull you back to the present and remind you that all you really need to focus on is the next right step.

Tip #4: Make a “Me-Time” List

Spend a few minutes writing a list of things that help you feel relaxed, happy, or healthy—things that nourish your body, mind, and soul. Make sure to include some quick, easy options (like taking ten deep breaths or having a cup of tea) as well as bigger treats (like a trip to the spa or a weekend away).

Keep your list somewhere you can see it and refer to it often. It’s a lot easier to squeeze in a few minutes of “me-time” when you don’t have to waste energy thinking about what to do!

Tip #5: Put Yourself on Your Schedule

Having a me-time list is great, but it won’t make a difference if you never actually use it. Let’s be honest—when you’re a parent, unplanned downtime is rare. That’s why it’s so important to schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just ten minutes to drink your coffee while it’s still hot.

You deserve a place in your own diary, so grab your calendar and make it happen!

Tip #6: Find Support

We’re not meant to parent alone. But in today’s world, where most of us live far from extended family, finding support can take a bit more effort.

This doesn’t just mean hiring someone to clean your house or watching the kids for an hour—though those things can help! It’s also about finding people who understand and support your parenting style.

If you’re committed to conscious or gentle parenting, look for friends, groups, or even online communities where you can share honestly about what you’re going through without worrying about being judged. Your values are an important part of finding the right support.

Tip #7: Heal from the Past

Our brains are a bit like libraries, storing every experience, conversation, and feeling we’ve ever had—even the ones we don’t consciously remember. Sometimes, our children’s behaviour can trigger old files we didn’t even know were there.

You might notice you’re feeling more anxious, losing your patience faster than you’d like, or arguing with your partner more often. Usually, there’s a deeper reason behind these reactions.

Healing from past experiences doesn’t mean spending years in therapy (though that can be helpful). Sometimes, it’s as simple as getting curious about your own reactions, being honest about what you’re feeling, and finding small ways to process those feelings.

You Matter Just as Much as Anyone Else

You don’t matter more than anyone else—but you also don’t matter less. Finding ways to fill your cup isn’t selfish; it’s essential. So, pick one of these tips to try this week, and see how it feels.

Remember, you’re doing better than you think.

Anne Cullen is a Family Strategist who helps mission-driven founders build thriving families without sacrificing their own wellbeing. With a focus on conscious parenting, responsive care, and breaking generational patterns, Anne blends practical strategies with values-driven insights to support parents from the very start of their journey. When she’s not coaching, you’ll find her walking in nature, listening to business and wellness podcasts, or spending time with her husband and two sons.

Ready to build a family culture that feels as good as it looks? Book a call to get started.